{"id":2028,"date":"2018-10-30T14:36:49","date_gmt":"2018-10-30T14:36:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sophiehannah.com\/?p=2028"},"modified":"2024-04-17T12:12:56","modified_gmt":"2024-04-17T12:12:56","slug":"hold-on-to-a-grudge-nurture-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sophiehannah.com\/hold-on-to-a-grudge-nurture-it\/","title":{"rendered":"The Greatness of Grudges"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section” _builder_version=”3.0.74″ custom_padding=”0px|||” custom_css_main_element=”background: #85ddd4; \/* For browsers that do not support gradients *\/|| background: -webkit-linear-gradient(#85ddd4, #ffe6bf); \/* For Safari 5.1 to 6.0 *\/|| background: -o-linear-gradient(#85ddd4, #ffe6bf); \/* For Opera 11.1 to 12.0 *\/|| background: -moz-linear-gradient(#85ddd4, #ffe6bf); \/* For Firefox 3.6 to 15 *\/|| background: linear-gradient(#85ddd4, #ffe6bf); \/* Standard syntax *\/|| ” transparent_background=”off”][et_pb_row use_custom_width=”on” use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”2″ custom_padding=”||0px|” custom_margin=”||0px|” background_color_2=”rgba(255,255,255,0.5)” parallax_method_1=”off” parallax_method_2=”off” padding_top_2=”30px” padding_right_2=”3%” padding_bottom_2=”3%” padding_left_2=”3%” padding_2_tablet=”0px|0px|0px|0px” padding_2_last_edited=”on|tablet” custom_css_main_2=”margin-top: 60px;” _builder_version=”3.0.48″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″][et_pb_post_title meta=”off” _builder_version=”3.0.87″ title_font=”|||on|” title_font_size=”50px” title_font_size_tablet=”42px” title_font_size_phone=”36px” title_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_margin=”||20px|” custom_margin_tablet=”||0px|” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid” parallax_effect=”off”]\r\n[\/et_pb_post_title][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][et_pb_sidebar area=”sidebar-1″ show_border=”off” disabled_on=”on|on|” _builder_version=”3.0.74″ header_font=”|on||on|” header_font_size=”32″ header_line_height=”2.5em” body_font=”|on|||” body_text_color=”#000000″ body_font_size=”24″ body_line_height=”1em” remove_border=”on”]\r\n[\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”row” use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”2″ custom_padding=”0px|||” custom_margin=”0px|||” background_color_1=”rgba(255,255,255,0.5)” background_color_2=”rgba(255,255,255,0.5)” parallax_method_1=”off” parallax_method_2=”off” padding_top_1=”40px” padding_right_1=”7%” padding_bottom_1=”7%” padding_left_1=”7%” padding_1_tablet=”5%|7%|7%|7%” padding_2_tablet=”20px|7%|3%|7%” padding_1_last_edited=”on|tablet” padding_2_last_edited=”on|tablet” _builder_version=”3.0.48″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”][et_pb_column type=”3_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.17.2″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid”]\r\n\r\nThis is an amended extract from an interview with Julia Llewellyn-Smith that first appeared in The Times<\/em> on October 25th 2018.<\/strong>\r\n\r\nDo you hold any grudges? The crime writer Sophie Hannah does \u2014 in fact, she nurses dozens. Years on, she hasn\u2019t forgotten the boyfriend\u2019s mother who told her that if her life was in danger she probably wouldn\u2019t try to save her. She\u2019s still reeling at the fellow famous author she calls \u201cMichael Baker\u201d who, when informed that Hannah had been commissioned by the Agatha Christie estate to write the first Hercule Poirot novel since Christie\u2019s death, said: \u201cThat strikes me as a rather second-rate thing to do. Why can\u2019t people be original?\u201d \u201cI didn\u2019t mind that he didn\u2019t like the idea, until I started getting emails with headers like, \u2018Bloody cheek,\u2019 \u201d Hannah says. \u201cIt turned out \u2018Baker\u2019s\u2019 new book was a retelling of a selection of someone else\u2019s stories. I thought it simply couldn\u2019t be true.\u201d\r\n\r\nRather than allow such grievances to gnaw at her soul, however, Hannah, 47, revels in them as a positive force. \u201cEveryone\u2019s always told you, \u2018Don\u2019t hold grudges because it\u2019s bad for you and not very nice,\u2019 \u201d she says, \u201cbut what if grudges are the psychological equivalent of leafy, green vegetables that nourish us and strengthen us?\u201d So having produced 14 novels, three Poirot continuations, a murder-mystery musical and six volumes of poetry that are fixtures in the GCSE and A-level syllabuses, Hannah has written her first non-fiction book, How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment \u2014 The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life.\r\n\r\nThe subject, as she proudly points out, is unique.\u201cGrudges are such a universal human experience, right up there with love, hate, anger, grief. If you watch any movie or read any fiction or hear any songs, half of them are on the theme of grudges, but \u2014 crazily \u2014 there was not one book about them and certainly no one questioning the orthodoxy that they are negative things that poison us from within, when I knew that my grudge-holding was wholly positive.\u201d Initially, Hannah\u2019s logic puzzles me, not least because her book triggers memories of dozens of grudges of mine, to the point that when I meet her in a caf\u00e9 in King\u2019s Cross station in London before she catches a train home to Cambridge, I\u2019m seething with memories of hitherto-buried rancour. The injustices stretch back to primary school days and the nasty thing my needlework teacher said, carry on through my education and into the workplace and up to those that are centred on the lives of my school-age children.\r\n\r\nHannah\u2019s aim is to use our grudges to \u201chelp us live better lives\u201d, but I tell her it\u2019s so far made me feel angry with pretty much everyone I\u2019ve encountered and with myself for being consumed with such trivialities. \u201cAh, but that\u2019s because at the time someone treated you badly you never gave yourself permission to deal with your feelings towards them,\u201d Hannah says, plonking down her cup of Earl Grey. \u201cAnd you shouldn\u2019t in any way allow yourself to feel guilty about those feelings because they\u2019re teaching you important lessons.\u201d\r\n\r\nHannah says she has been \u201ca grade-A grudge collector\u201d all her life. She is cheery and friendly, but in the book she admits to spending \u201ca not insignificant chunk of my life being scared . . . of controlling, tyrannical, bullying, emotionally manipulative\u201d people. The book is full of stories of how, as \u201ca compulsive people pleaser\u201d, she used to be continually brow-beaten by acquaintances, friends and family. She lists several grudges she holds against herself, such as being too weedy to stand up to others, including the occasion when a friend bullied her into visiting Anne Frank\u2019s house in Amsterdam, despite her having no desire to do so. For years she was also too quick to accept other people\u2019s bad behaviour. \u201cNow my grudge system enables me to give everyone a second chance while not making me think I\u2019m letting them get away with it,\u201d she says.\r\n\r\nHannah\u2019s system involves grading her grudges on a scale of one to ten, which distances her from any hurt she might have suffered. \u201cI\u2019m so practised at it now, I often get to skip the bad feelings altogether because I\u2019m immediately into \u2018OK, what kind of grudge is this?\u2019 mode.\u201d Grading completed, Hannah reflects on the lessons that each grudge has imparted, applying them to future interactions with the grudge-provoker. The aim isn\u2019t to wreak revenge like Liam Neeson in Taken (\u201cI will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you\u201d), but rather to be able to deftly protect herself from any future harm.\r\n\r\n\u201cI know a person who\u2019s perfectly lovely and I\u2019ve always had a very enjoyable evening with him, but if ever anyone does something bad to me, he always sides with the person who\u2019s injured or wronged me,\u201d Hannah says by way of example. \u201cSo my grudge tells me that if I don\u2019t need support, which is most of the time, it\u2019s safe to hang out with him, but he\u2019s not the person to go to if a lorry driver deliberately ran me over because he\u2019d say: \u2018Well, the lorry driver might have been having a bad day and anyway you\u2019re not perfect; remember that time in 1983 when you did X? That wasn\u2019t very nice.\u2019 \u201d\r\n\r\nAlso vital to Hannah\u2019s system are \u201cgratitude grudges\u201d, in other words noting others\u2019 kindnesses as well as their misdeeds. Equally, we need to recognise that people will hold grudges about us and, if these are justifiable, we must attempt to make amends. Hannah uses the book to make a public apology to her ex-boyfriend Simon, whom she dumped, only to go out for a drink with him shortly afterwards, during which she unkindly regaled him with stories of how badly her new boyfriend was treating her. \u201cI behaved really selfishly towards Simon, so although he may not have given me any thought for 20 years, he could quite reasonably have a grudge against me. I\u2019ve tried to apologise in person, but he has a common surname so I can\u2019t find him online.\u201d\r\n\r\nHannah is entertaining company and the book is even more amusing. I confess to her (risking an eternal place in the grudge cabinet) that I read it not so much for serious advice as for the comedy of the grudges she\u2019s compiled from her life, her Twitter followers and recent history. There\u2019s Gordon Brown\u2019s hatred of Tony Blair for grabbing first dibs as prime minister, Bill and Hillary Clinton\u2019s alleged database entitled \u201cfor me and against me\u201d and Taylor Swift\u2019s feud with her rival singer Katy Perry, after Perry apparently poached Swift\u2019s backing dancers mid-tour, which provided the inspiration for Swift\u2019s song Bad Blood.\r\n\r\nGrudges are also at the core of Hannah\u2019s speciality, crime fiction. \u201cGrudges are the motive for most fictional murders,\u201d she says. Yet readers who come to this book in hope of the twisty mysteries that are Hannah\u2019s USP will be disappointed. Instead they will find a hilarious compendium of \u2014 with just a few truly tragic exceptions \u2014 everyday pettiness, tactlessness (Hannah gives one example of a woman describing a woman as ugly, telling her friend \u201cI mean, she\u2019s much uglier than you\u201d) and fundamental oddness. \u201cOne of the great things about crime fiction is it allows you to create scenarios that are much more gripping than real crime, which usually involves drunken assaults,\u201d Hannah says, \u201cbut, even so, fiction doesn\u2019t quite allow you to show the full ridiculousness of humanity. I\u2019m pretty sure if I\u2019d put any of those true grudge stories in a novel my editor would have said, \u2018Er no, no one will believe this could actually happen.\u2019 \u201d\r\n\r\nI\u2019m curious as to how Hannah\u2019s publishers plan to market the book \u2014 do they seriously see such a quirky tome stocked in the new-agey self-help section? \u201cIt\u2019s definitely self-help,\u201d says Hannah, who is an \u201caddict\u201d of the genre. \u201cLet\u2019s call it an unusual, counter-intuitive self-help book, a realistic one that takes into account what humans are actually like.\u201d Generally, she says, self-help is too focused on positive thinking. \u201cIf one of my favourite gurus Eckhart Tolle [the author of the multimillion-selling The Power Of Now] was approached by a stranger and punched in the face, he would probably be able to think of it as their problem and be unaffected. That\u2019s what it\u2019s like if you live on a higher plane of enlightenment, but if \u2014 like most of us \u2014 you live on the lower plane it\u2019s empowering to be told that if someone treats you like shit, you\u2019re entitled to hold a grudge, and doing so can make you feel better. Holding grudges is not the opposite of being a forgiving person; holding grudges is what I have to do in order to be a forgiving person.\u201d\r\n\r\nSo taken is Hannah with her philosophy that she is launching a weekly grudge podcast. There\u2019s certainly no doubting her commitment to the cause; our interview morphs into an ad-hoc counselling session as Hannah absorbs every detail of my long-winded grudge story about a falling-out with a neighbour and how \u2014 a decade on \u2014 I feel guilty that I\u2019m still so cross that I avoid him in the street. \u201cTake away all that pressure you\u2019re putting on yourself to feel differently about him,\u201d Hannah advises. \u201cHe\u2019s probably an annoying git and your grudge is entirely justified. Grade and categorise it, put it in your Grudge Cabinet and I bet within a year the negative feelings start to lose a bit of their power.\u201d Okeydoke. On to my needlework teacher. This could take some time.\r\n\r\nHow to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment \u2014 The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life<\/em> is published by Hodder & Stoughton, \u00a316.99\r\n\r\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][et_pb_sidebar admin_label=”Sidebar MOBILE” area=”sidebar-1″ show_border=”off” disabled_on=”off|off|on” _builder_version=”3.0.74″ header_font=”|on||on|” header_font_size=”32″ header_line_height=”2.5em” body_font=”|on|||” body_text_color=”#000000″ body_font_size=”24″ body_line_height=”1em” remove_border=”on”]\r\n[\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is an amended extract from an interview with Julia Llewellyn-Smith that first appeared in The Times on October 25th 2018. Do you hold any grudges? The crime writer Sophie Hannah does \u2014 in fact, she nurses dozens. Years on, she hasn\u2019t forgotten the boyfriend\u2019s mother who told her that if her life was in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2029,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interviews"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Greatness of Grudges - Sophie Hannah<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sophiehannah.com\/hold-on-to-a-grudge-nurture-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Greatness of Grudges - Sophie Hannah\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is an amended extract from an interview with Julia Llewellyn-Smith that first appeared in The Times on October 25th 2018. Do you hold any grudges? The crime writer Sophie Hannah does \u2014 in fact, she nurses dozens. 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Do you hold any grudges? The crime writer Sophie Hannah does \u2014 in fact, she nurses dozens. 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